


Touch Wood

by litensolsikke



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Fluff, M/M, OOC af, i don’t know how to tag this thing, smut???kind of, soft connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 11:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19197529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litensolsikke/pseuds/litensolsikke
Summary: No, Evan doesn’t really have a pink diary to keep bed records like Connor might suspect. He just has picked up some association methods in one of his electives. It allows him to connect numbers and memories, to store every little thing that happened between Evan Hansen and Connor Murphy.





	Touch Wood

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first attempt to write a fic in English and it’s not betaed∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿tell me if I made any grammar mistakes

Their first time didn’t end up very well. Honestly, it was a disaster. 

They barely got out of Connor’s car before their lips crashed together. The angle was kind of awkward and their teeth bumped into each other - not in a passionate and hot way, with teeth grinding the soft inner skin in their mouth. They just sort of bumped into each other with a gentle click, ruining the kiss that was supposed to use their tongues.

“To your room?” Connor pulled away a little, his hot breath brushing against Evan’s lips.

“O-okay.” Evan muttered breathlessly, removing his hand from the hem of Connor’s hoodie. He touched the doorframe before they went into his room. _Wish me luck,_ Evan thought, _I really like him._

They’ve just been dating for three months. After the computer lab accident and a panic attack in the bathroom, Connor helped him out and apologized, and they sort of developed a friendship. Turns out that the school shooter kid could be really gentle and friendly if he wanted to, and Evan found himself wondering what it’s like to run his hands through those beautiful curls. And finally at the end of the semester, Evan managed to ask him out. 

It went pretty smooth actually. There were holding hands and lots of hugs and timid kisses, and since they were just two horny teenage boys, it led naturally to sex.

And then, just like that, with a click, Evan ran out of all his good fortune.

In retrospect, Connor must have loved him so much to even want to try it again with him for a second time, a third time and so many times after that, because their first time was bad, terrible, and clicking their teeth together was not even the biggest bummer of that night.

How many people would stumble on their doorstep? In their own house? When the boy of your dreams tugging at your clothes, unbuttoning your shirt with his slender fingers, his long hair caressing your ear as he nipped on your neck, you left out a breathy moan as he slid down to kiss your chest and—

And then you stumbled on the floor. Come on, who on earth does that?

 

“Poor little thing.” Connor blew into his knee, and there was also swollen bruise behind his head covered with a towel of ice, thanks to which gave a display of their filthy, empty fridge to his boyfriend. 

How pathetic was that.

“You sure we don’t need to go to the hospital?” Connor asked.

“Please don’t, going to the hospital is even more mortifying than this, ”Evan muttered, voice muffled by his both hands covering his red face. “I’m- I’m sorry. I really appreciate you not running away, though you definitely don't want to do anything anymore...”

Connor smirked at him, “I want to, but I don’t have the heart to do anything when you are like this. You can't even either kneel nor lie down.”

Evan groaned. 

“I would do anything you asked.” He bit his lip and looked at Connor between his fingers tentatively. “I really like you.” 

“I know,” Connor leaned in, over his injured knees and between his legs. He locked eyes with Evan as he slid down, eyes dark in a way that made Evan’s breath hitched in his throat, and placed a kiss under his belly button, “I can tell.”

So their first time end up with them jerking each other off with a bruise on Evan’s knees and on the back of his head. And that was not even the top 5 of their awkward sex story. Not even have a chance comparing with the infamous incident on the day before they left for college. 

Ugh. Even just the thought of that makes him shudder. 

But before we get there, let’s talk about their 13th. Thirteen was never a lucky number, the number of Satan and the betrayer Judas, and it shouldn't be a surprise that it was a total disaster. 

Evan looked in the mirror and frustratedly ran a hand through his hair. He was wearing a nice outfit for the prom. The problem is that the shirt was a little too loose around him while the trousers were too. Freaking. Tight. So tight that he couldn’t even get it on for the first try. 

“It looks like you’ve gained some weight honey.” Heidi chuckled in amusement, making his ears burn with embarrassment as he struggled desperately to put it on. “It fitted you well last year.” 

Of course he had. Evan was never considered athletic and he hadn’t climbed a tree ever since his fall. So he just shrugged and kept fighting with his pants. 

“Are you sure you don’t need to try another pair?” Heidi asked. 

“No I’m- I’m-” He relieved as he finally managed to put it on, “I’m fine.”

Connor didn’t really seems to mind his trouser problem. He traced his gaze along Evan curves deliberately before he leaned over his ear, breath tickling his neck. 

“It looks hot on you.”

Evan blushed hard as he dropped his gaze to the floor. 

Connor tilted Evan’s head up to kiss him on his lips, earning a fake-gag sound from Jared but ignored him. 

“I’ll fuck you till you can’t walk straight when this is over.” He whispered against Evan’s ear as they pulled away, winking at him as he took his hand and walked into the hall together. 

Turns out they didn’t have the patience to wait until the prom end. They crashed together in the bathroom, Connor nuzzled his nose against Evan’s, as if checking whether his prey animal was edible. Evan’s knees went weak, his hands shaking like a leaf as he desperately palming Connor through his pants. Connor let out a breathy moan. He pinned Evan against the door with a swift movement and started to fumble with the buttons on his jeans and. 

And he was stuck in his jeans. His rather tight jeans that wrapped around his ass perfectly. 

Evan face-palmed in his head. Why did he insist to wear it in the first place when his mom suggested he could just wear another pair?

Mom was always right. 

It was really tight. They learnt it as they struggled to get if off but failed eventually. They stared at each other blankly for what felt like a year and Connor burst out laughing. 

“You guys done fucking there?” Evan finally picked up the phone that kept buzzing in his pocket. It was Jared, amusement evident in his voice, “ready to leave now?” 

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Evan deadpanned, blinking slowly as his boyfriend laughing his ass off beside him. 

 

Even so, the pre-college one was the worst. Because it sucks and it was not funny. 

It was over a year since they’ve been together and it was their 201th time. They both took a gap year before went to college for they both needed time to take care of their mental health. They applied to different colleges, and the dread in Evan’s stomach grew every time he thought about them being apart. 

After all, how many high school relationships can last in college?

The panic reached its peak the day before they left for college. They shared their ice cream in À la mond in silence and Evan couldn’t help but thought to himself _this is it he’s gonna say it he’s gonna—_

“Hey.” Connor’s voice pulled him back in reality, a worried look on his face, “what’s wrong?” 

Evan shook his head, suppressing a sob. “Can we go home? To my place?” He pleaded. 

The ride to his house was silent. Heidi was not home, and it wasn’t such a surprise. Connor squeezed his hand and stared at him as Evan pathetically sobbing his eyeballs out. He knew he was an ugly cryer, but he couldn’t hold it any longer. 

“To...to my room?” He choked out finally, sniffing and sobbing. 

Connor sighed and shook his head, “come on.”

You love your boy so much that you don’t know what to do, so you kissed him before he could phrase his goodbye, and you touched him to keep him yours before he could leave. 

But you were so fucked up really. This whole thing just sucked so much. 

You were crying so hard that you couldn’t keep your teeth in when you blew him. And he didn’t even get hard, which was fair considering how many times your teeth bumped into his member. You didn’t get hard either, but you were still straddling on his thighs and grinding your hips together. 

“Don’t - don’t leave me, please,” You begged, desperately, stifling a hiccup through your sobbing mess. 

“Come on,” He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you closer, “I’m not leaving you.”

And then he said—

 

 

Touch wood, they said. 

Hang a horseshoe above your door, they said. 

Buy a rabbit’s foot as your amulet, they said. 

Throw salt over your shoulder, they said. 

Maybe Evan just needs to carry a bag around and fills it with tree stumps, horseshoe, Rabbit's foot keychain and enough amount of salt, and maybe holy water and rosary beads. And every time when Connor leans in to kiss him, or rubs his inner thighs, or brushes the hair on Evan’s calf with his toes, or holds him from behind and buries his head in Evan’s neck and nips gently, or traces his fingers under Evan’s shirt, Evan has to call a halt and leaves Connor’s warm skin for the moment to finish whatever he has to do with wood, horseshoe, Rabbit's foot, salt, holy water and the Rosary. Then he can go back to Connor and say, _okay, now everything's ready, let's fuck._

That’s ridiculous, and impossible. 

“It’s not that bad at all!” Connor gasps, amused by the way Evan describes it. His laughter is a little too shrill and high-pitched and he spills all the pistachios on their couch, but Evan still loves him so much that he can’t take his eyes off him even after all this years. 

“It happens once in twenty times, I guess?” Says Connor, uncertainly. 

In fact, Evan has never really calculated the frequency of a bad sex. Besides, he lost count after their 200th. 

No, Evan doesn’t really have a pink diary to keep bed records like Connor might suspect. He just has picked up some association methods in one of his electives. It allows him to connect numbers and memories, to store every little thing that happened between Evan Hansen and Connor Murphy.

The 3rd time. He was entered from behind for the first time, with Connor constantly pecking at his shoulder and back.

The 7th time. He went down on Connor in a bathroom, Connor’s hand gripping at his hair. 

The 42rd time. He left a hickey on Connor’s neck and Connor just let it be and wasn’t even bothered to cover it up, earning a shit ton of teasing from Jared. 

The 98th time. They were in a fight, Connor went really rough and Evan bit hard on his shoulder in revenge, forgeting why they were fighting in the first place. 

The 149th time. They spent a long time exploring each other, the night before Connor leaving for their family trips. 

And those you probably already knew or figured—

The first time. Their teeth crashed together and he fell.

The 13rd time. He was stuck in a pair of rather tight trousers. 

The 55th time. Connor was high off his ass and fell asleep on Evan’s back. 

The 87th time. Evan sniffed Connor’s freshly dyed hair and learnt that he was severely allergic to hair dyes. 

The 104th time. Connor insisted to open a condom with his mouth but ended up splitting it in half. 

The 126th time. Evan tried some dirty talk and Connor laughed so hard he couldn’t even get into it. 

The 187th time. Connor thought he could just carry Evan to the sofa but he clearly underestimated Evan’s weight and they didn’t move more than 5 meters. The atmosphere fell awkward. 

And—

The 201th time, which was the worst and most important. Connor said he loved him and kissed him with Evan’s face covered in tears and snot, not romantic at all. 

“I love you. I love you.” Connor said as he placed light kisses on his cheeks and lips. 

He was still crying, words escaping him, but he knew that Connor knew Evan loves him too. 

He stopped counting. 

So it’s really impossible for Evan to calculate out the frequency. But he feels it must be a little higher than once in twenty times. 

But he really doesn’t have to literally touch wood in advance anymore.


End file.
